The pandemic drives Co-Founders to Couples Therapy

Can co-founders work through their issues together in therapy? Kasper says: “I can help them deescalate, listen to each other, and make a good decision about whether they should move forward as partners or not,” she says. “I’m their relationship adviser, not their business adviser.” Read the article.

NEW SERIES GIVES INSIGHT INTO GROUP THERAPY

I get questions all the time from people wondering what it's like to be in group therapy, and my best answer is, watch this TV series created by one of my mentors, Elliot Zeisel, where he leads a therapy group of actors improvising their roles as group members.

Everyone is Going to Group Therapy Now

Millions of people are lonely and hungry for social connection, creating the conditions for a grouptherapy renaissance. Read my article about how group therapy is providing social nourishment during COVID-19.

PODCAST: THE RELATIONSHIP STRESS TEST

I joined Kim Azzarelli on her podcast Seneca Women Conversations on Power and Purpose to discuss how to reduce stress in your relationship during this time of coronavirus home quarantine. Listen here.

RELATIONSHIP TIPS ON DEALING WITH COVID-19 STRESS

Coronavirus news is full of health statistics, stock market challenges, and announcements about the latest shelter-at-home orders. But focusing only on these economic and societal impacts overlooks how these issues are affecting people’s lives at home, where they’re now spending all of their time. As a psychologist in San Francisco, I’m working with many people who are grappling with these challenges; it doesn’t help that most couples and families in San Francisco have such tight living quarters. Read my 6 relationship tips on dealing with COVID-19 stress on The Bold Italic.

NYTIMES ARTICLE: CLOSER FRIENDSHIPS

Social connections are the most powerful way for us to regulate our emotional distress," says Dr. Amir Levine in this NYTimes article. The author notes how being able to be fully yourself and understood by others are two important ingredients for a relationship to be close, and offers helpful steps to create that closeness with others.

BOOK: SELF COMPASSION

One of the things I talk about most with my clients is cultivating self-compassion, because a great deal of what I see contributing to depression and anxiety is a negative, critical relationship with ourselves. Dr. Kristin Neff is the leading researcher in this area and offers some helpful meditations and exercises to begin cultivating a kinder, less critical relationship to yourself.

WSJ ARTICLE: Food Is Medicine

Studies are showing that diets that emphasize whole real foods, with an emphasis on vegetables, whole grains, nuts and seeds, fruits and small amounts of meats can make a difference in people’s mood that’s greater than we previous understood. This field is sometimes called “functional medicine” and in this article in the Wall Street Journal is called “nutritional psychiatry”, helps remind us that we are putting chemicals into our bodies all the time with each different food choice we make, and paying attention to those choices can have an impact on not just our physical health, but our mental health as well.

PODCAST: Fear of Commitment in Relationships

I joined a friend Melanie Curtin on her podcast “Dear Men", to discuss fear of commitment and losing yourself in relationships. We focused specifically on the Avoidant Attachment style and elements of that style that relate to these fears. I share my own clinical experiences working with these issues and reference Attached by Amir Levine M.D. and Rachel Heller M.A., a book I often recommend to clients to help them better understand themselves and these dynamics in dating. If you’d like to check out more of Melanie’s podcast, you can find it here.

NYTIMES Article: How do you know someone is a friend?

"Friends are people you take the time to understand and allow to understand you" is a great definition of friendship from this article in the New York Times. The authors talk about how developing the capacity for intimate relationships changes our biology in ways that improves our health and helps us regulate anxiety. 

Video: “Relationships are what matters”

What keeps us happy and healthy as we go through life? If you think it's fame and money, you're mistaken. According to psychiatrist Robert Waldinger - it's healthy relationships. In this TED talk, he shares three important lessons learned from the study as well as some practical, old-as-the-hills wisdom on how to build a fulfilling, long life.

This is a great piece in the Atlantic Monthly about some of the most important qualities in a healthy, long-term relationship, according to one of the leading researchers in the field, Dr. John Gottman. The article notes that kindness and generosity are key, differences in how calm or triggered you get with a partner says a lot about the trust and intimacy that exists in your connection, and how you respond to one another's 'bids' for closeness are important to building up or chipping away at your connection.

MINDFULNESS MEDITATION RESOURCES

Here are some ideas and resources for those who wish to experiment with mindfulness: 

Headspace - This is a great app for people completely new to mindfulness and who want a good introduction to the concepts and simple guided practices.

Simple Habit - This is a great app for people who are looking for quick and targeted meditations. The app gives you options based on what you're doing (commuting, prepping for a big event, you've had a tough day, etc.) and how much time you have (5, 10, 20 min).

Spirit Rock - This is a local meditation community in Marin and retreat center to get some practice meditating with others and to create community.

DharmaSeed - This is a great resource for anyone wanting to download talks on specific topics in mindfulness and buddhism for free.

ARTICLE: THE LIKELY CAUSE OF ADDICTION HAS BEEN DISCOVERED, AND IT IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK

This article offers an interesting take on addiction, framing it more of an issue of lack of connection, loneliness, and the ability to have and sustain healthy relationships. 

PODCAST: HOW TO COMMUNICATE BETTER IN CHALLENGING DATING SITUATIONS

I joined hosts Karen and Phillipa, broadcasting live at the Katzen Art Center on Valentines Day to discuss improving communication in common uncomfortable dating situations. I begin providing my perspective and advice around 8 minutes 30 seconds into the discussion. We touch on the importance of expressing your feelings while honoring the other person's positive qualities.